


What The Dickens

by mercy_angel_09



Series: Once A Day [5]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Drama, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Light Angst, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2016-05-29
Packaged: 2018-07-11 00:26:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7015192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercy_angel_09/pseuds/mercy_angel_09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A politician and her bodyguard.  What could possibly go wrong?</p>
<p>Pot calling kettle. Not everyone had a happy childhood. An umbrella of togetherness. Bah, humbug! Nothing but the facts, ma'am.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wellerism

**Author's Note:**

> The theme du jour is Charles Dickens' characters who became words.

**Wellerism - noun: An expression involving a familiar proverb or quotation and its facetious sequel. It usually comprises three parts: statement, speaker, situation.**

* * *

 

Relena rolled her shoulders in an attempt to work out the kink that had settled at the base of her neck. She’d been working nearly eighty hours a week for the last month and it was finally starting to show. There were dark circles under her eyes and her complexion was becoming sallow from too much take-out, not enough sleep, and never seeing the light of day.

“There’s a saying, Relena, that all work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy,” Heero noted as he kept working at his laptop. He hadn’t even bothered to look up or still his fingers as he dropped that little pearl of wisdom.

Relena cocked an eyebrow. “Yes, and there’s another saying that states that advisors run no risks.” He looked up at her then, as if to assess what she meant. She rolled her eyes. “What I mean is that it’s easier to dispense advice than to actually follow it. You’re telling me to take a vacation when you’re in need of one just as badly as I am.”

“It’s fine. It doesn’t bother me.”

She sighed as she stood up. She quickly crossed the room and shut the lid to his computer, earning an irritated glare. “I’m a lot tougher than I look. Just because I was raised as some spoiled little rich kid doesn’t mean that I don’t understand or undervalue hard work.”

“I think your problem is that overvalue it,” he answered irritably. He tried to open the lid to his laptop, but Relena kept her hand splayed across it.

“I think you undervalue time off. I know you think you’re invincible or something, but even you need a vacation once in a while.”

He glared at her for a moment before his eyes softened slightly. “Touché, princess.”

“Please don’t call me that. I’m not a princess anymore.”

“Suit yourself.”

“Anyway, I think we should take a vacation somewhere. It needs to be remote. No access to the internet or phones or anything that might even tempt us to work.”

He narrowed his eyes. “No.”

Shaking her head in disappointment, she reached around the back of his head and gave him a firm whack. “That’s not an acceptable answer. I’ll take a vacation, but only if you take one as well.”

“That’s not fair.”

“That’s the art of negotiation. It wouldn’t kill you to take a little of your own advice, you know.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do and you’re bullshitting me in an attempt to get out of it. Here’s a newsflash for you: it won’t work.”

“Did you really just say bullshitting?”

“I do know how to swear, but I usually don’t, as it makes me sound crass and uneducated, but I am not afraid to call a spade a spade when necessary. If calling your bluff by saying that you’re bullshitting me does the job, then I’ll do just that. Now, what do you think about Fiji or Tahiti?”

“Neither.”

“And where do you propose we take our vacation?”

“Some place in the mountains.”

She looked thoughtful for a moment. “We could do that.”

“Now if you’d let me get back on my computer, I’ll book the trip.”

Removing her hand from the laptop’s lid, she kneeled next to him as he opened it and began his search for possible vacation spots. After several minutes of clicking and typing, he finally stopped and turned to Relena. “What do you think, does this look good?”

“Glacier National Park?”

“Only a few Glaciers remain due to climate change, but it’s remote. We can hike, horseback ride, and pretty much anything but work. Does that meet all of your requirements?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“You know I only did this to get you to stop nagging me, right?”

“You just keep telling yourself that,” she replied smugly.


	2. Fagin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all childhood memories are happy.

**Fagin - one who trains others, especially children, in crime**

* * *

 

It was one of the few things that Relena actually knew about Heero’s past. The fact that he didn’t remember most of it meant that if shared what he did know, it was a sign of his trust.

He didn’t remember his mother or his father. It was one of the few things they had in common. Instead he lived with a wandering assassin, or at least Heero assumed that’s what he was. At eight years old, Heero couldn’t have been sure of the man’s profession at the time, but in retrospect, the weapons and combat training had clearly been a sign.

“We used to travel between the colonies, at least the L1 cluster as travel between the five clusters was restricted, doing odd jobs.” He gave a sarcastic snort at that point. “We never stayed in one place for too long. Our primary cover was that of a father and son, travelling around, looking for work.”

“Did you two look alike?”

He shrugged. “I remember someone saying that we had the same eyes and noses, but that was probably a fluke.”

“A very convenient fluke.”

“Still just a fluke. Anyway, he did used to say that he felt bad for dragging me along. Right before his last job he seemed to imply that he was ready to quit. Maybe he thought that we could settle down and be a family or something.”

“Do you think that your life would have been different if you had settled down to be a family?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. After he died I was taken in by Doctor J to be further trained as an assassin. I didn’t have a name. They just called me boy or hey you. Occasionally I would get code names if I had to mingle in public and those were always comically bland. Little Johnny Smith or Jack Brown. However Doctor J liked irony, so I was given the code name of Heero Yuy for Operation Meteor. It stuck.”

“What name did the man call you?”

Half of Heero’s mouth twitched up. “Odin, Odin Junior. He named me after himself.”

“So let me get this straight. You two looked alike and he called you after himself? I think you two really could have made it work as a family.”

“Yeah, probably.” He smiled wistfully at her. “I think I was envious of you for a while. You had your mother and your father and everything going for you.”

“Not really. Remember, my real parents are dead and have been dead since I was two. The people who I thought were my parents were very loving toward me and I’m glad that they took me when it was quite possible that I could have grown up with a family that didn’t really care.” She gave him a cautious look. “You and I are alike in that respect. We don’t remember our real parents, orphans of war.”

“We’re hardly the only ones,” he reminded her gently. “Duo and Trowa are in the same position.”

“Misfits, all of us. But you know what, I’m okay with that.”

He turned slightly so he could see her better. Some of her hair had fallen in her face so he reached out and gently tucked it behind her ear, his hand lingering a bit longer than it should have. “Me too,” he murmured.


	3. Gamp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rainy day and a large umbrella.

**Gamp - a large umbrella**

* * *

 

Relena loved rainy days. If the wind wasn’t blowing towards her window, she’d open it a bit and let the fresh scent into the room. Her favorite thing to do, though, was to sneak out for a short walk. It didn’t matter that she usually didn’t have an umbrella with her, she just loved being outside and the sense of renewal that came with the rain.

Today was such a day, and she was casually strolling through a nearby park while those around her dashed for cover.

It was a cool, spring rain, pouring fairly hard but not so hard that she was soaked the minute she stepped outside. With the rain driving everyone else indoors, she had the park to herself to enjoy. She paused and noticed the sun peeking out behind a cloud. Turning quickly to put the sun behind her, she saw a pale rainbow arcing across the sky.

She smiled and hummed happily to herself as she decided to walk towards the rainbow, the rain forgotten. Strolling along the mostly deserted park, she followed the rainbow, ignoring the fact that her suit was soaked and her shoes made a squishing sound as she walked.

A voice pulled her from her thoughts. “Don’t you ever take an umbrella with you?”

Turning to find Heero standing behind her under the largest umbrella she’d ever seen, Relena shrugged. “No, I don’t mind the rain.”

“Right, I’m sure you feel the same way when you come down with the flu,” he noted sarcastically. He took a few steps forward so Relena was standing the umbrella with him. “Better.”

“I suppose you’re going to make me go back to work?” she sighed.

“You’re soaked, and if you didn’t bring a change of clothes with you then there’s no point in taking you back to your office. Come on, I’ll take you home.”

With a contented smile, Relena looped her arm through Heero’s and walked along with him to his car, protected from the rain under his umbrella.


	4. Scrooge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's the point of having money if you never spend it in the first place?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Direct follow up from "Connubial."

**Scrooge - a miser**

* * *

 

Heero wasn’t the type to spend money. He didn’t really see the point, when all he needed were the basics. Duo had called him a tight wad on more than one occasion – but he was mistaken. Heero didn’t spend money on his day to day needs. It was more efficient to eat easy to prepare meals using cheap ingredients. He didn’t need the leather couch or the designer clothing. A fancy entertainment system would simply be a waste.

There were exceptions. Heero liked having the most up to date computer. He always kept his car in pristine condition. No expense was spared when he bought gifts for Relena.

Needless to say, Duo would be shocked at how much money Heero was about to drop, but sometimes it had to be done.

“This one, sir?” the clerk asked.

“That’s the one,” Heero confirmed.

“She’s a lucky girl, whoever she is. This is the one that always catches the woman’s eye when couples come in to look,” the clerk noted as he carefully placed the ring in a box. He then wrapped it carefully before handing it to Heero. “Best of luck.”

Heero allowed himself a smirk. “I don’t need luck. According to most people who know us, this has been a long time coming.”

“Well then, I amend my previous statement. Congratulations.”

 “Thank you,” Heero replied with a nod. Feeling confident with the ring in hand, he headed out the door. He carried a small fortune in his hand, but she was worth it. She had always been worth it.


	5. Gradgrind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He may not always show it, but that Over Protective Big Brother streak is definitely there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follows "Connubial" and "Scrooge."

**Gradgrind - someone who is solely interested in cold, hard facts**

* * *

 

“You’ll tell me the truth and nothing but the truth. I want all of the facts and none of the bullshit."

Heero blinked. He’d never seen Zechs this fired up during the war, and while he was usually much more rational, this was extreme even for him. Zechs liked the facts, he liked to know whatever it was he was getting in to, but he never discounted human feelings before. Heero had supposed it was a trait of Treize’s that rubbed off, but had only rubbed off so much.

“You will answer me.”

“It’s none of your business,” came the calm reply.

“This isn’t just about me, it’s about Relena.”

“I seem to recall that you were okay with us getting married.”

“Do you swear that you’re not going to just up and leave her?”

“What?”

“Do you swear that you’re in this for the long haul?”

Heero balked.

“I’m waiting for the answers.”

“If I was planning on leaving her I wouldn’t bother proposing, now would I?” Heero finally managed to retort. The ice in Zechs’ eyes was something he had never seen before and frankly it was a little unnerving.

Zechs sighed before running a hand through his hair. “I don’t want to see her hurt. She’s suffered enough already.” His humanity finally returned, Zechs carefully stared down his prey. “So, you’re planning to stay with her?”

“Until my dying day.”

Leaning back in his chair, Zechs allowed himself a small sigh. “Good, good.”


End file.
